When the Bathroom Floor Was My Only Sanctuary

When the Bathroom Floor Was My Only Sanctuary

I remember one Tuesday evening vividly. I was standing in the kitchen, crumbs crunching under my feet, and my head was throbbing from sleep deprivation. My 7-year-old had just spilled water for the third time, and my 5-year-old was crying inconsolably over something small. I just stood there, feeling my patience evaporate into thin air.

Everything felt uncertain back then. The shadow of a divorce was hanging over our home, and every conversation with my husband felt like walking on eggshells. Being a jobless mum with two young children felt incredibly lonely, and I was completely lost in a sea of never-ending chores. That evening I did what I always regretted afterward: I yelled. Again. I was loud and angry, and I saw the fear in their little eyes.

Shortly after, I did what had become my ritual: I locked myself in the bathroom, sat on the cold floor, and just cried. There, tucked away between the tiles, I felt like a total failure as a mother and a woman. I felt there was no way out of this constant cycle of frustration.

It was during this time that I first truly heard the saying: “If you do not have the time for meditation, meditate more.”

At first, it felt like a joke. How could I have time to meditate when I barely had time to shower? And yet, that was the moment yoga therapy kicked into my life. I joined a group of wonderful women and began a 2-year-journey of intensive self-discovery. It wasn't a spectacular change on day one. It was just ten minutes on the mat, sometimes among the toys, and sometimes in the quiet living room after they finally fell asleep.

I started to listen to my breath and learned how to calm my nervous system through movement. A couple of months passed, and a sense of calm began to flood our home again. The storms around the divorce didn't vanish overnight, and I was no longer looking for an escape on the bathroom floor. I learned to be present, and yelling was replaced by understanding.

Today, I know that movement and mindfulness are not luxuries; they are essentials for every mother who wants to find herself again. If I could do it at my lowest point, you can too.

A small step for today:

Have you ever felt lost between the kids and the endless to-do list? Sometimes all we need is a map to see where we are right now before we can move toward our dreams